Welcome to the fourth day of spring, and the third quarterly issue of This Mortal Portal.

It's best read out of doors.

-V

Don't Just Do Something, Stand There!

Adventures in becoming a non-anxious presence

“Dad.”

My 3 year old was annoyed, and I was not responding.

“Daddy!”

My thumbs typed faster as I tried to finish the email. Just one more sentence.

“Daaaaaaad!”

Too late. Her tiny fist swung toward me in a desperate bid for my attention. And she was just the perfect height for her punch to crash into… my crotch.

Oof. It's come to this.

I'm perennially curious about human motivations, choices, compulsions, desires. Why do we want what we want, and do what we do? How do we change?

These matters weave through my work as a recovery chaplain and a web designer. And they touch the deepest parts of my identity as a father, husband, friend, disciple. One vein that I’ve mined for years is the technological strata of our lives - the tools we use and how they shape us. And I've experimented with all manner of apps, hacks and unusual settings to weaken my devices’ distractive power.

But the pings and buzzes are the easy part.